Dear Mariah,

Image credit: Elizabeth Arden

Um, how do we break this to you? You’re 41. You have twins. We mean, um, two infants.

Butterflies and lollipops and lacy tank tops and barrettes, not to mention a whole lotta airbrushing. Really?

Granted, this is the grown woman whose husband proposed to her by hiding a 17-carat diamond ring in a Ring Pop wrapper. Still, we agree with E! Online.

The jig is up. Have your latest “raspberry, jasmine, orange and mango aroma” cologne smoothie (ewww, just a wee bit much, by the way?), but you’re not exactly Britney Spears (and she ain’t exactly Brit Brit anymore, for that matter). We get it, you’re “flavorful,” even if your proverbial palate appears to have the sophistication of a diabetic tween.

But c’mon. Knock it off.

Seriously.

XOXO,

Just Out

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